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  WEEK IN CRAIG: WALKING IN A WINTER WONDERLAND.  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

Few realize this, but I'm actually an avid winter sportswoman. I'm dead serious. When I was growing up I went to something called "Winter Camp" in upstate New York every year between Christmas and New Year's (on a scholarship, no shit), and as a result I really, really like doing things like cross-country skiing, ice skating, and wearing snow pants with no underwear.

So I was pretty pumped when I checked weather.com this morning and saw that "between 4 and 6 inches of total accumulation is expected to fall late tonight and Friday..." Total Winter Wonderland, boyeee!

That's when one of those proverbial lights went off in my head … I usually drive up to the Berkshires to do my cross-country skiing … but why not try to do some in Central Park this year? Brilliant!

And so, obviously, I looked on craigslist to see if anyone had any cross-country skis to rent or sell … and lo and behold, to my shock and amazement, what did I find but an entire community of skiing FANATICS right at my fingertips!

Total score! And then things started to get a little fishy…

Best Ski Equipment - Great Prices- Will Deliver - m4mw

Solid & Pure Equipment - Will Deliver - NYC

Safe - Reliable - Discreet

Guaranteed to make you Fly!

Please No PD/DE

Send a number to reach you - and a best time to call

This sounds fantastic! Safe, reliable, solid and … umm … discreet? Skis? Hmm, that's a strange way to describe skis … but whatevs. Then I racked my brain about what PD/DE could possibly stand for … but as a huge fan of Court TV, the only thing that came to mind was "Police Department/Drug Enforcement."

How peculiar. Then there was this…

SKI TICKETS AVAILABLE - 27

HAVE GOOD SKI TICKETS
E-MAIL ME FOR RATES AND INFO
IM QUICK RELIABLE AND DISCREET

Again, "discreet" lift tickets? Craigslist is so bizarre sometimes. And then I realized that people on craigslist weren't just looking for ski rentals and lift tickets … they were also looking for love on the slopes! How precious!

LOOKING FOR A GIRL TO HIT THE SLOPES WITH FRIDAY NIGHT - m4w - 29

Well let me first start off by saying I can not host,so you must.A little about myself I'm 29yo,Italian,5'8,cute, good looking,friendly,fun,and open-minded.I'm very down to earth and nonjudgemental.I have a very busy weekend coming up,so I'm just looking to hang out, and hit the slopes,with a friendly,fun,down to earth girl.I'm not looking for sex,or anything physical,just a relaxing,laid back,comfortable time,with good conversation,and company.Have some laughs,drinks,and hopefully a friendly relationship that we can turn into ski partners for occasion.Let me know email me and we can work something out.Unfortunatly this Friday is the only night I can this week,and if I don't email you right a way, no worries I will get back to you..

P.S I just want to ski with a fun,friendly,girl,in a nice comfortable atmosphere.I not looking to go out,just want to stay in,make a friend and ski......... I'm in Queens but able to travel.... I can supply the favors

Isn't that just the sweetest? Just when you thought that ALL of the guys on craigslist were self-obsessed assholes, an ad like this one appears that reminds you that there's always a chance of finding a diamond in the rough if you just trod on! A nice gentleman who's not looking for sex or anything physical … just a nice, friendly ski weekend with a new friend. Doesn't it just warm the heart?

Want to play with us in the snow? - mw4w

We are both very down to earth, uninhibited and looking
for a sexy bi woman who would like to ski with us, and
then play with us. If this sounds like something you
would be down for, lets talk some more, and please send a pic
with replies since there seem to a lot of fakes on this site

Thanks :)

Well, who am I to judge … different strokes for different folks, I guess! After a long day of skiing I personally just want to take a shower, drink some hot chocolate, and fall asleep in front of the fire … but it takes all types!

wbugr guy here skiing looking to host buddy to hang naked - 34

hey- good looking ital/amer, partying looking for a buddy my age or younger to hang out, ski ( got some to share) jo and watch porn. perhaps get another guy to join?

Skiing, jerking off, and watching porn? Mmm, Okeee. I guess I don't really get it, but that's Williamsburg for ya (or wbugr, as this dude prefers to call it).

And then I found this one…

Wanted: A Ski Bunny With A Strap-On!!! M/F Couples Welcome - m4w

You bang my ass and I'll spoil you with candy all night!
Email your pic for fastest reply.

For the love of god, you creeper, what on earth does banging one's ass with a strap-on have to do with skiing and candy? You sick, sick fuck.

And then, oh my, the mother of them all…

U SKI MY SNOW...I SUCK YOUR DICK.....STRAIGHT MALES ONLY!!!

IVE GOT PLENTY OF SNOW AND AM LOOKING TO DEEPTHROAT A PRETTY BIG DICK WHILE WE SKI...YOU GOTTA BE STRAIGHT, GOODLOOKING, UNDER 35, AND LAID BACK ABOUT ALL OF THIS....

IM A GOODLOOKING MALE, 37, MARRIED BUT FLYING SOLO FOR A FEW DAYS....

YOU CAN COME TO MY PLACE IN BROOKLYN OR I CAN HOP IN A CAB TO YOU...

ASAP!!!! SEND A FACE PICTURE....

I've been skiing for many, many years. And I've even sucked one or two dicks. But there is no way in hell you're going to convince me that it's possible to ski AND suck a dick at the same damn time. It just ain't fucking happening.

Oh, so, by the way, I'm throwing a party this weekend … anyone got any cocaine? Like, email me. Cool.

 

Want More?

Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.

 

Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.