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  WEEK IN CRAIG: CRUISIN' FOR LOVE ON THE NEW JERSEY TURNPIKE.  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

A while back, I went to the Jersey Shore with my sister and her kids to spend a weekend at the beach. While we were there, I realized that I needed some sunscreen, so I asked my sister if I could take her truck to the store and I asked one of my nephews if he wanted to come with me for the ride.

"Well, how are we going to get there?" he asked me.

"We're going to take mommy's truck," I responded.

"Is mommy going with us?"

"Nope," I responded.

"Well then who's going to drive?"

"I am!"

"YOU are? Ha! You can't drive!" he told me, laughing.

"What do you mean I can't drive? Of COURSE I can drive. I could drive before you were even born!"

"No you can't! You're too young! You don't even have a car!" he said, mockingly.

"I'm too young?" I asked, incredulously. "I got my license eleven years ago!"

I tried to explain to him that because I live in New York, I don't need a car, and therefore don't have one. But he just wasn't buying it. Apparently because I don't have a car, he was under the impression that we were the same age, and therefore we were going to get in BIG TROUBLE if we took mommy's truck.

This amused me to no end.

Anyway, this week we're heading into craigslist New Jersey to find some people getting into BIG TROUBLE in their cars. For the record, I'll be sticking with the D train, thank you very much.

Red Mustang - Drug Fair - m4w

Girl with blue stretch pants and glasses. Dark curly hair. You are sensational.

Wow. It's hard to think of many things less attractive than a curly-haired girl with glasses and blue stretch pants in a red mustang. Perhaps a syphilitic donkey is less attractive. But as they say in Jersey…one man's syphilitic donkey is another man's chick wearing stretch pants and glasses. Gotta love the Jerz.

Looking For The Beauty In The Silver Honda Civic - 41

The first ever I saw you was 8 months ago at the Royal car wash on Route 23. There were smiles, glances and stares but your car was clean and mine was still in the lube shop. I then saw you again yesterday in the parking lot of the A&P on Valley Road but I had my daughter and two of her friends with me and we had to pick up an ice cream cake for her birthday. I was hoping you would still be there when I came out but again you were gone. The only thing I know is that you have brown hair and drive a Honda Civic with PVT-77K on the plate. This is a long shot I know but if you or anyone who knows you does happen to read this please get in touch with me as I would like to take a chance on love with you.

Smiles, glances and stares at the car wash on Route 23? Could it GET any more romantic than this?

Ps. Dude, do I really need to point this out? It's kind of not OK to try to pick up chicks while you're at the grocery store with your daughter and her friends on her birthday. It's seriously creepy.

White Honda CRV on NJ-TPK - m4w

I saw you this morning driving your Honda at a very nice clip, I kept up with you and watched you sing to the "i love you" song....If you read this, I think you are 1) a very cool driver 2) very cute !!

Email me back if you remember who I am..... :)

New Jersey is so awesome. When was the last time you saw someone driving too fast on the way to work and thought "this person is a very cool driver?"

And can anyone PLEASE tell me just what the fuck the "I love you song" is?

dreadie boy in a teal car, smilin at a grl and her dog - 23

we were both crossin rt 73 in marlton, by whole foods market. it was almost 5 and the rain was closin in. my giant pooch made us both giggly as we waited for the light to change. it was your smile that kept one on my face for the rest of the day, thanks:) why have i never seen this dreaded cutie before? how can i find u again?

Ok, what the hell does this poster have against the letter G???? "Crossin?" "Closin?" Please just put Gs on the end of your words. G is good. Thank you.

Kearny-parking in front of my house - m4w

I have no idea if you will see this. Tonight you sat in front of my house and acted like you were reading paperwork. I pulled up and unloaded some shopping bags. I almost went over to you but my neighbor started talking to me. Then I just went in the house then you left. I'm not sure if you work on the Ave. or live there. It's a little strange that every day you park there when there are fifty other spots that are closer. I should add that you drive a Mazda. If you get this write back if not I will be saying hello soon enough.

Maybe…just maybe is it possible that she actually WAS doing paperwork? And maybe she parks down the street from her job because, well, maybe she doesn't want her boss to see when she's coming and going.

Oh, Jersey.

I gotta get a car.

 

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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.