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  WEEK IN CRAIG: GRANDMA NEEDS A NEW HOME: $100!  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

My mother is a crap collector. To be more specific: An Irish crap collector. It's terribly humiliating to bring friends to her home. From the shamrocks on the mailbox to the Claddagh doorknocker, it hits you before you even get inside. Then there's the St. Brigid's Cross in the dining room, the Celtic Knot stained glass suncatchers in the windows, the Irish tea sets and Waterford crystal filling the china cabinet. The collection of Shillelaghs in the den, the Erin Go Bragh-emblazoned blanket on the sofa. Not to mention the plaques with Irish blessings and proverbs, the ever-popular Himself/Herself mug set, the Irish soda bread recipe in the kitchen, the decorative Ireland Places of Interest guest towels, the Slainte sign over the bar, the coffee table books, the framed "art," the Cottages of Ireland coaster set, the music boxes that play "When Irish Eyes Are Smiling." The shit is everywhere. I thought she had completed the collection a couple of years ago when she married a guy from Donegal, but it only got worse. Now I have to listen to their collection of tales from their annual guided bus tours of the Irish countryside.

If there's one saving grace to it all, it's that I know I can at least always get a glass of Bailey's or an Irish Coffee with dinner at their house.

Anyway, this week let's bust out our Precious Moments Figurines, our Beanie Babies, and our Garbage Pail Kids, and let's raise a glass and say Slainte to the Collectibles section of craigslist. Pass the Bailey's.

Lisa Loeb Autographed Guitar - $100

Signed guitar with C.O.A.. Autographed by the singer Lisa Loeb.

Poor Lisa Loeb. Her autograph seems to have actually DEVALUED the guitar. Oh, Lisa, where did you go with your sexy-librarian glasses and your deep-chick pop lyrics? I didn't realize it until now, but when I turn the radio on, I turn the radio up and … I miss you … yeah, I miss you.

Craigslisters -- doesn't Lisa Loeb like TOTALLY need to make a huge MTV comeback?

Sigh. I'm only hearing negative: no, no, no…

Kurt Cobain!!!! Original Rolling Stone Mag Pictures - $50

In great condition.. I have a few pages that I saved from several years ago but theyre in great condition. They're from the magazine (not original photos) but in very good condition.. perfect for framing!!

What kind of jackass is going to pay fifty freaking bucks for a couple of pages torn out of Rolling Stone circa 1994? Actually, scratch that. If anyone's interested, I've got a couple of pictures of Kurt that I printed out (on my color printer!!) from nirvanaclub.com that I'm willing to sell for the bargain basement price of $35 per picture! They're not original photos, but they're in very good condition … perfect for framing!!

Magic the Gathing TCG...a whole lotta cards!!! - $1

I would say I have a good hundred or so Magic cards spanning from the Invasion series, Onslaught, some starters, and some holos. The rares I have are: Alter Reality, Cetavolver, Endemic Plague, Tribal Golem, Goblin Piledriver, Peer Pressure, Circle of Solace, Glarecaster, Trade Secrets, Phyexian Plaguelord, Parallel Evolution, False Memories, Kill Switch, Golden Wish, Scalpelexis, Mist of Stagnation, Death Wish, Stalking Assassin, Phyrexian Infiltrator, Bane of the Living, Genesis.

I would say $60 for all my cards)...email me for info.

email me to start things off!

I've soooooooo been dying to get my hands on a Goblin Piledriver card! That's, like, totally rare! I've already got a Mist of Stagnation, but I could definitely lay down some serious bones for a Bane of the Living card. I used to have a Phyrexian Infiltrator card, but my asshole ex-boyfriend, Zolan, stole it and blamed it on the dog. It was a total deal-breaker.

God Bless America Keychain - $2

Keychain Collectors
American Flag Collectors
Patriotic Collectors
9/11 Collectors

This keychain is a product of 9/11,
when to prove your patriotism to others you displayed flags in cars,
store windows, etc...

A Mexican Taqueria in California printed these keychains as gifts to their customers.

This Keychain is engraved on both sides.
1> God Bless America
2> La Tapatia

Nothing screams patriotism like buying a keychain from a Mexican Taqueria for two bucks on craigslist. Uhhh, right.

God bless America, indeed.

Two dollar bill set (rare collector's item!) - $1000

This set includes four 2-dollar bills and an informational guide. The bills are from 1976, and they are in perfect condition. The set is beautifully framed.

$1000 or best reasonable offer.

Pick up in Astoria.
Delivery available within NYC for a $25 service charge.

Feel free to come take a look. No pressure to buy!

Also available: a similar set of 1-dollar bills from 1985. $600 or best offer. Picture available upon request.

Am I missing something here? Am I dumb? So, you pay $1000 for … umm … eight dollars worth of money? Or, for a mere $600 you can buy … four dollars? And for the bargain basement price of just $625, he'll deliver straight to your doorstep…four dollars?

This is awesome.

And for the grand finale … the creepiest collector's item to EVER be sold on craigslist, it's … Grandma?

GRANDMA NEEDS A NEW HOME - $100

This life-size and lifelike kindly old grandma or Psycho Mother can be yours at a great price. It's a one-of-a-kind movie prop. Face and hands are beautifully sculpted. The covered body parts are made of wood and papier mache. She is designed to be kept in a seated position only. Chair included, if you want it. It's dressed in period clothing with accessories including wig, hat, shawl, glasses, necklace, and high-top shoes. A great conversation piece, halloween display or whatever you choose. We are moving and can't take her with us. Must pick up for cash only. No shipping, no money orders, etc. Don't waste your time and mine by sending those kinds of offers. Originally offered at $300. First offer of $100 takes her home.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

 

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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.