I consider myself to be extraordinarily HOT. I mean, I'm not just talking attractive. Or good-looking. Or easy on the eyes. I'm talking 100%, total, pure, non-watered-down HOTNESS. Awww, yeah.
As an extraordinarily HOT person, I feel that it is my civic duty to dress with impeccable style and care every morning. I figure that I owe it to the little people to help lead them out of the fashion darkness by setting such a bright, shining example for them to follow. You see, not only am I totally fucking HOT, but I'm also what you might call "a good person." You know, always trying to help out my fellow man. As an undiscovered talent on the supermodel circuit, I figure it's the least I can do.
So this week I'm heading into the shadowy, ugly world of clothing for sale on craigslist. Unsightly people of the world, listen up! There's a whole lot of overpriced ridiculous clothes for sale right this minute! All you need to do is send an email, and these hideous, dumbass duds can be ALL yours!
God, ugly people depress me.
Faux haute-couture Leoptard throw/double as cape.Orig$399+txNow - $75
haute-couture Leoptard throw/double as cape...Orig$399+txNow75.
Reversible, black/leoptard(faux)
Long rectangulat 5"+
Fashionable, with fringes...
Or worn on as a throw as watching TV in ur porch..
Or for Martha's Vinyard weekend on a yacht...
Ahh, a "Leoptard" throw-if you ask me, this poster is just plain leoptarded. Aww, snap!
No, but seriously. I spend a lot of time watching TV on my porch. And when I'm not watching TV on my porch, I'm at the Vineyard on my yacht! I never realized it before I read this ad, but what my life is lacking is a reversible leoptard throw/cape with fashionable fringes! It's sooo haute-couture.
If you think I'm hot now, wait 'til you see me in leoptard fringe! Owwww -- can't touch this!
Beautiful CZ solitaire. Excellent shine, 14K band. Unless she takes it to the jewelery store, she will never know the difference. Or it makes an excellent promise ring. I get many compliments on the ring, but I now have the real thing, so I figured I would sell it. May be willing to negotiate on price, make me an offer. Pics available upon request.
Jesus H. Christ. "Unless she takes it to the jewelery store, she will never know the difference." That hurts Mama. That really does.
You know what cracks me up the most about this ad? The part where she says that she "may be willing to negotiate on price." Lady, who the hell is going to shell out fifty bucks for a used FAKE diamond ring that you bought on the home shopping network for $14.95 (with a one-of-a-kind designer mother of pearl jewelry box thrown in for FREE!)?
Thanks, but I'm gonna have to pass on this one.
black leather calf-high platform heel steve madden boots for sale.
lightly broken in. very good condition. just doesn't fit anymore =(...
it breaks my heart to sell them but i could use the money.
size 6
runs small, runs narrow.
OK. I'm not saying that there is necessarily anything wrong, per se, with black leather calf-high platform boots from Steve Madden. But how are you going to try to sell them for -- once again -- fifty bucks?! A quick scan of the Steve Madden website proves that you can buy a BRAND NEW pair of Steve Madden calf-high black leather boots for-drum roll, please -- FIFTY BUCKS.
Why buy used boots for fifty bucks when you can get brand-spanking new ones for the same exact price? Try lowering your price to about, oh, four bucks, and maybe someone will buy them. Some tiny-footed, platform-boot wearing nutjob who likes wearing dirty, old used shoes.
Human Hair Clip on Extensions - $400
For sale.. 100% human hair clip on extensions. I bought these to wear to my wedding but it was so hot I decided to pull my hair up. There are (2) 2" clips and (1) 3" clip to add more volume to your hair. If you read the fashion magazines you'll see how expensive human hair extensions are, these are a bargain. The color is brown, they're 18" long.. human hair can by dyed, permed, curled, staighten to match your natural hair, unlike the cheap synthetic hair that will burn. Email me at nicmarino@hotmail.com to make a deal...
This ad sends a shiver down my spine. "Unlike the cheap synthetic hair that will burn?" Oh god, that's gross.
Not to mention the fact that this chick dropped four hundred bucks on a handful of somebody else's hair, only to decide to wear a pony tail on game day. These flaky rich bitch bridezillas kill me.
80s \M/ETAL SHIRTS FOR INDIE SLUTS AND SCENESTER WHORES - $40
Hey kids,
I have a bunch of mostly size large or extra large (yep, that's how they mostly came back then) metal/rock shirts from back in the day. Examples include AC/DC, Metallica, Megadeth, etc. You get it. I have other more glam ones that I'm less likely to part with, since that's what I like. The price may be negotiable since I'm not gonna wear them myself. There are also a few deconstructed ones. Please leave a message at (917) 657-8891 (only call if you want shirts).
Thanks!
Shar Gorgiiss
Anyone who is idiotic enough to answer an ad that calls for "Indie Sluts and Scenester Whores" deserves to rot in their own private slutty scenester hell, wearing an extra-large "deconstructed" AC/DC T-shirt. Anyone who calls herself "Shar Gorgiiss" deserves to rot in a more glam version (since that's what she likes) of the same private hell.
Anyway, I'm sorry if I offended anyone's fashion choices. Hey, this is New York! If you want to walk around in a leopard-print fringed cape, platform boots, fake diamonds, human hair extensions and a Megadeth t-shirt, far be it from me to stop you! Viva New York!
And viva my hot self! Just call me Shar Gorgiiss!
Want More?
Hit up The Week in Craig Archive.
Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.
