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  WEEK IN CRAIG: SISTER EARTH FLOWER ROBIN & B-BOY SPONGEBOB.  
  Amy Blair    
   
 

I'm not one of those people who is good at "having a job" or, more specifically, "working."

I'm not proud. In fact, I've put a lot of time that could have otherwise been spent drinking Margaritas and dissecting the delicate psychology of Courtney Love into thinking about what differentiates me from my more industrious, career-minded (read: boring) friends.

I have come to two conclusions:

1. I have a problem with authority.
2. I am chronically late.

To be fair, the authority problem is something that I could probably work on. But the lateness thing is something I simply cannot help. And, unfortunately, I have found that most employers disapprove of people strolling into work 45 minutes late everyday.

I was born to be late to things: arriving on time would be like denying my nature. Like denying my blood. And I'm not just being dramatic. You see, when my mother gave birth to me I was three weeks overdue. After nearly ten months in there, I finally popped out kicking and screaming, with a full head of hair, weighing in at roughly 97 pounds, with a copy of War and Peace tucked under my arm.

What can I say? I was born to be late. (Editor's Note: The Black Table editors can assure you that Ms. Blair is not lying.)

I think that the authority problem stems from this, in a way. My mother reports that for the next year and a half after my late birth, I did nothing but scream and cry and flick Cheerios at innocent passersby. What can I say? I simply did not want to be outside of that womb. Life was simple in there. I like to think that I knew from the start that an easy life is a good life. And life on the outside of the womb was just too much damn work. I was no fool.

So, be a dickhead like me and forget about putting those long hours in at the office. Instead-find yourselves an activity! A hobby, if you will.

I smell a segue! In fact, why not join a group?

Where better to look than craigslist? You know, there are some really good groups advertised on there. And I say that without a hint of sarcasm. I mean that. Really, I do.

womens meditation and spiritual warrior circle

I am looking for a group of women to join me for weekly meditation, spiritual book discussion, writing and rituals to incite connection to our source.

I am a spiritual warrior, I am a bodhissatva, I have held rituals for small groups of women (mostly friends and siblings) that have been UNBELIEVABLE and POWERFUL!! Simple evenings of special tea drinking, meditation, small interactive exercisies lead by each member of the circle, use of ancient healing herbs and oils,etc...

I live in Williamsburg and would love to talk to some of you and see if we can get a weekly or bi-weekly group going.

Dress in your most fabulous goddess attire, I will supply bindies for your third eye, and the tea.. just bring your energy.

Peace and bodhi

sister earth flower robin

Man, Sister Earth Flower Robin sounds like a real party and a half. Those simple evenings of special tea drinking and ancient healing herbs with a bunch of dim-witted hippie chicks sounds UNBELIEVABLE and POWERFUL to me. Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing how some of these women warriors interpret dressing "in their most fabulous goddess attire." Hee.

By the way, is anyone surprised by the fact that this is in Williamsburg?

Looking to start a dance crew soon

Whats going on people. I am B-Boy Spongebob. And I am looking to start a crew. What we will be called I dont know, we can figure that out later. But I am looking for B-boys and B-girls, Poppers, Lockers, Up-Rockers and all hip hop dancers. I dont care of the age but you have to be able to travel if need be. Please your name or nickname, age, number, availabilty, and where you are from. Cause honestly Im not gonna deal with you if you cant come to a practice or are gonna be late to a battle. I look forward to setting this up. There is not limit to this posting so if you apply and you have some skill, especially if you think you suck, still apply cause things can be worked on easily.

Is it just me, or do B-Boy Spongebob and Sister Earth Flower Robin need to get together? I mean, what the fuck is this-Retarded Ass Nicknames On Craigslist Week? I think they should combine forces and make one big poppin' and lockin' spiritual warrior dance troupe. I'd be down. I mean, I may not be the most talented hip hop ancient healing dancer on the planet, but I've got spunk.

Besides, who cares? Like B-Boy Spongebob says, even "if you think you suck, still apply cause things can be worked on easily."

Amen to that, Spongebob! (For the record, I could never join this group. I'd constantly be late to all the important "battles.")

Quarterlife Crisis?

Hi everyone. If the title of this posting caught your eye then it is likely we are in similar positions in life. Twenty-something, out of school, perhaps new to the NY area, and wondering what to do with life! What I would like to do is be in touch with people who are grappling with these questions (is this where i want to be, where am i going from here, is this really how i envisioned my life)and forming some kind of informal support group that meets maybe every week or every other week, if nothing else than to bitch, vent, and dream! and have this network of people to challenge, support, and advise you, who are mutually respectful of everyone else. oh, and to laugh as well :)

so i guess well see where this goes!

Oh Lord. I can think of few things more annoying than sitting in a room full of random fresh-faced New York newbies who are eager to make friends with other just-off-the-boat-to-the-Big-Apple dorks as they grapple with such globally monumental questions as "is this really how I envisioned my life?"

This poster needs to Get. Over. It. Support groups are for people with real problems. What you need is a six-pack and a friend. That's how the rest of us deal with our idiotic little troubles.

Quarterlife crisis. Oy freaking vey.

Networking success group...looking for new young professionals

Hello to all of you successful people looking to become an even greater success.

We have created a Networking group for the benefit and purpose of helping each other grow and succeed. This group is primarily for young professionals and entrepreneurs who want to grow their business and their success network. My goal is that when one of us does well, we all do well.

I would like for there to be one professional from each profession. We have several spots open and would like to grow the group (i.e. 1 Dentist, 1 Coach, Graphic Designer, website designer, hosting, etc.). We currently have a Life Success Coach, a educational consultant, Insurance agent, Art Theoripist, musician, fund raiser (Youth mentor), toy salesman, dentist, caterer, and potentially some more as well.

I hope that through our connections, drive for success and willingness to help each other we can all grow our businesses through our network.

Please e-mail me and I will get back to you as soon as possible. Please tell me about your business and about yourself as well. We have meetings 2 times a month. We will be having a meeting this Saturday morning in park Slope.

All my best,
Seth

And since this is a democracy, if we're going to laugh at the quarterlife crisis support group, we might as well take a few pot shots at the Networking Group For Young Professionals And Entrepreneurs.

Seth, Seth, Seth.

OK, you would like there to be one representative from "each profession," and you've still got "several spots open." So, what, there are, like, 12 professions in the world? One of which is "Life Success Coach," and another of which is "Toy Salesman?" Thank god there are "potentially some more as well." God forbid those be my only professional options.

Seth, you are an idiot. I think I'd rather take my chances with Mr. Spongebob and his hip hop dance ensemble. My guess is that they'll be a greater success than you, marketing their skills on the A Train during rush hour.

All my best,
Amy

 

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Amy Blair, winner of The Village Voice's "best website's summary of another website" award, is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.