|WEEK IN CRAIG: KINKED UP AND WHACKED OUT.|
This week our ever-electrifying President delivered the State of the Union Address. Thankfully, Im not much of a politico, and spent most of the speech cruising craigslist for kinky sex ads. Im just that kind of upstanding citizen.
So, one of my favorite things about craigslist is the disturbing little window that it so often opens into other peoples freaky, fucked-up fantasies and turn-ons. Lets not be coy... seeing what kind of messed up shit floats other peoples boats gives us all a certain amount of satisfaction, either by making you glad that other people are more kinked up and whacked out than you are, or by making you feel less lonely knowing that theres someone else out there who shares your fucked up urges.
Me? I just think its kind of funny to read about what other people need to get their horns tooting. And, what constantly amazes me is the detail involved in so many of these desires that these posters are looking to have fulfilled.
See what I mean?
do you know ayurveda or chinese herbals? I would like to have tea with you somewhere warm . Me ,I'm good looking .
What on earth is it about Chinese herbals that puts the cream in her tea? Call me crazy, but tea seems like about the most grandmotherly, least sexy substance I can imagine. But hey, to each her own...if this chickie needs tea to get her steeped, someone get her a cup and be thankful that shes not asking you to poop on her face and call her President Bush.
What a major turn on this is. I would live to spend time with you, looking at you, holding you, admiring you, making you feel great! this doesn't have to be about sex- just a great time together. I am tall, handsome, respectful and genuinely intrigued by this!
Much like Chinese herbal teas, I have no idea what on earth about milking mothers could possibly turn this guy on. But, hey, at least hes not just looking to have sex with a new momsie... afterall, hes just genuinely intrigued!
And, you know, look at the bright side: at least he doesnt want you to dress him up in bloomers, ride him like a horse, and call him John Ashcroft.
I am your office fantasy. I come to meet you dressed in a suit and overcoat as if we had a meeting scheduled. You close your office door and we "meet".
This can involve me pleasuring you with my hands and my mouth, and anything else that you are comfortable with. Reciprocation is not necessary.
We conclude our "meeting" and I leave you to enjoy the rest of your day more relaxed than you have ever been in your office.
Available this afternoon for your pleasure.
OK, well, at least heres one I can kind of understand... this ones hot. Moving on.
i would really like a to meet a pretty, fit, healthy, sophisticated,
intelligent, sensitive, mature woman in her 30's and up, preferably the
classy Manhattan type who can be like a mother to me. What i need is a
sweet, soft, tender, caring mom-type who would spend
Congratulations, young poster. This is one of the most genuinely creepy ads I have ever seen on craigslist. And thats saying a lot. The only way this could be any creepier would have been if you wanted her to change your diaper, give you a pacifier, and let you call her Mama Condoleezza.
Anyway, if anyone wants to email me to let me know if the pres said anything of importance, please feel free. In the meantime, I wont hold my breath. Now, giddyup Mr. Ashcroft!