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  WEEK IN CRAIG: PUT YOUR HANDS UP AND BACK AWAY FROM THAT SPEEDO.  
   
   
 

Fashion, as a general rule, is an unacceptably boring topic of conversation. I mean, you could literally be the Empress of Hotness, but if you're sitting around discussing the latest collection from Calvin Klein, your sexability is automatically going to drop 10 points. Seriously, it's just that boring.

On the other hand, if you're simply fashionable, and don't ever, ever, ever talk about it, that can gain you a good 15 points.

Discussing Calvin Klein's drug-addled recent public appearances will neither gain you points nor hurt you: that's just stating the facts.

There's a fine line between looking good and not being a halfwit about it, and, unfortunately, there are way too many people in New York who don't know how to safely navigate that line. A Jimmy Choo does not the interesting bedmate make. Nor does an obsession with any of the following related topics: sticking to your Atkins Diet, the maintenance of your crotch hair, Bennifer, how a C-list celebrity goes to your gym, Harry Potter, why you are glad that you don't have to work.

At any rate, I don't know much about fashion. Nor do I really care. But when I see something bad, well, I'm gonna point it out. Fuck it --no apologies.


inspiration and a nice smile on the 11:06 harlem line - m4w - 23

hey there.. we smiled at each other a few times( like when the lights on the train went out and we couldn't read).. you inspired me, made me smile, would love to talk sometime.. not interested in a relationship or anything, your smile just made my night..

you were wearing black sketchers with orange shoelaces, halloween style.

write me if you see this :)

Ok, someone please shoot me if I'm ever wearing anything that can be described as "Halloween style" and it's not October 31st. I mean, really. Just fucking shoot me.

I was wearing a denim minidress; you said Thank You - w4m

Sometime in April: I looked hot in my denim minidress, you M, fit, skinny, short blonde hair said I was beautiful. I said Thank You and you said, Thank YOU! It made me smile. It still puts a perk in my day when i think of that. Thanks.

Maybe I'm just not picturing this denim minidress correctly. The poster says that she looked "hot." And yet, when I try to envision a denim minidress in my mind, I simply cannot come up with anything other than something that might have been worn by one of the back-up girls in a Bon Jovi video. I love Bon Jovi and all (I am from Jersey, you know), but I just can't accept a post-1986 denim mini-dress, goddamn it. I just won't.

You looked hot in your red speedo and cute w/your floppy hat - m4m - 34

I was the guy who walked by you three times while you were waiting for your lift -- and the one whose locker was under yours.

OK, I know that this post is m4m, so maybe there's something that I'm just not getting. I mean, perhaps there's a gayishly enticing je ne sais quoi about a guy in a red speedo and a floppy hat. But I'm just picturing Greg Louganis in a Blossom hat, and the visual just isn't working for me. Color me a straight chick, but this fashion decision is just fucking bizarre.

purple sweater & bright green camoflauge sneaker CUTIE - m4w - 27

OK :~) Tuesday Evening, September 30 (around 5 - 6pm) I was riding downtown on one of the newer 6 trains with a friend (We were two attractive tall, athletic slim guys sitting in the corner having a conversation & then YOU entered the train, probably on the Upper East Side). As you entered the train, I looked up for a second, and noticed that you were looking directly at me with admiration - attraction - interest. I WAS INTERESTED TOO, so we kept stealing glances of eachother's beauty throughout the ride.

UNFORTUNATELY there was a guy with his baby & baby carriage taking up the entire area; he was accompanied by his annoying @sshole - obnoxious - loud mouth friend who was annoying all of the passengers, especially the women, with his constant heckling, and he kept saying "I'm not from around here; you can tell by the way I talk" - I wished that he would shut up (just making himself and young black males look very ignorant, especially since he did not know when to quit).

I hadn't seen my friend in a long time, so we were doing a lot of catching up & I thought it would be rude to ignore his conversation, or ask him to move so that I could get to know YOU better. (I was sitting ALL THE WAY IN THE CORNER with a grey zip-up sweatshirt, corduoroy slacks, & nice shoes).

YOU WERE: wearing a bright purple sweater, a comfortable denim jacket, comfortable looking earthy beige/medium brown (Abercrombie, J.Crew, Gap/ Banana Republic) cargo pants with a green color canvas belt, and hip slightly worn bright green camoflauge colored sneakers, your PRETTY CARAMEL - MOCHA - TANNED FACE COMPLEXION with your PRETTY SMILE :~) Sandy Dark Brown hair color, Natural hair pulled back in a pony tail that was subdued by an elastic hair band. Height: Average to Tall. Build: Solid - THICK - Full Bodied (Proportionate) - BUSTY & Fine.

I FELT THE MUTUAL ATTRACTION BETWEEN US, and thought: I wish this train wasn't full of so many passengers, that way I could be more discreet about pursuing you (I didn't want to make you feel uncomfortable or pressured).

We stole a few more glances at eachother while I tried to contemplate whether to step over the baby carriage & the passengers & my friend & the arrogant @sshole to at least exchange numbers.

But, you got off at 33rd Street :~( and here I am hoping that WE CAN MEET AGAIN - we definitely HAVE A CONNECTION :~)

So BEAUTIFUL WOMAN I hope that you browse through these ads from time to time (actually tonight) because we MUST get to know eachother better.

STAY PRECIOUS

OK. I'm going to try to stick to discussing the fashion described in this post and avoid simply talking about how incredibly creeped out this made me feel.

However, I just have to mention that the combination of "Build: Solid - THICK - Full Bodied (Proportionate) - BUSTY & Fine" with the closing line "STAY PRECIOUS" just makes me think of some freaked out, thugged up version of that creepy little Gollum guy from The Lord Of The Rings…and I just don't like it. With that said, who the hell wears a purple sweater and bright green camouflage sneakers?? Also, there is something vaguely psychotic about the description of the cargo pants (although I can't quite put my finger on just what it is…). Plus, cargo pants have become simply disturbing ever since Old Navy started running their latest ad campaign. Every time I see someone wearing those giant-pocketed khakis, I can't help but sing to myself their catchy little jingle…Cargo Fever-You Gotta Boogie Down! As much as I enjoy being a little Pavlov's Dog to Old Navy, I just can't accept wearing the pants that inspired that ditty.

The Craigslist Fashion Police have spoken. Go back to thinking about something else boring.

 

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*BT*

Amy Blair is eager to be called horrible names on Craig's List. Bring it.